22 November 2016

"Please Mr. president, It's too much winning! We can't take it anymore!"

When you elect a fascist as President of the United States of America, you can expect a wee bit of chaos along the way to making America great again. So, as a service to the man in the White House, we are tracking all of that "winning" for you:
  1. Calling civil rights leader lazy on MLK Jr. holiday
  2. Hiring son in his administration
  3. Report of him hiring girls for water sports
  4. Trump's business conflicts of interest
  5. Hiring of unqualified Ben Carson to head HUD
  6. Hiring of individual who is against the EPA to lead it
  7. Hiring of Exxon chief as Secretary of State
  8. Trump refusing to acknowledge that Russia interfered with election
  9. Trump agreed to drop Ukraine opposition for Russia releasing Democrat emails.
  10. Upsetting China by skipping diplomatic channels and directly working with Taiwan.
  11. Secretary of Health and Human Services invests in companies based on legislation he influences.
  12. Lying about the attendance size of his inauguration.
  13. Claiming that millions voted illegally with no proof.
    1. Then forces an investigation to try to support the lie.
  14. Destroying relationship with Mexico and, no, they won't pay for the wall.
  15. Entire State Department Senior Management team abruptly resigns.
  16. Asks for the CIA to start using black sites for torturing detainees.
  17. America degraded to "Flawed Democracy" by Economist Intelligence Unit.
  18. Doomsday Clock moves 30 seconds closer to midnight - "End of Humanity".
  19. Forcing pipeline to be constructed over scared native land while pipelines are leaking.
  20. Trump creates a shadow National Security Council.
  21. Bans immigration from 7 countries responsible for 0 American fatalities on U.S. soil.
  22. White House fires acting Attorney General because she found a Trump executive order, that was not run by the Justice Department as has been standard procedure with previous Presidents in both parties, to be indefensible and likely illegal.
  23. FUBAR military raid resulted in American deaths, including 8 year old American girl.
  24. Anything negative about Trump is fake news.
  25. Trump does not know the difference between refugees and illegal immigrants.
  26. National Security Adviser resigns after discovery that he broke the law and lied about it.
  27. FBI has evidence that Trump campaign was coordinating with Russia during elections.
  28. After 25 days in office the White House has three resignations due to collusion with Russia.
  29. White House ramps up a (unfortunately, successful) Nazi tactic of "lying press".
  30. Donald Trump breaks the Emoluments Clause of the U.S. Constitution.
  31. Supreme Court pick believes laws must be held to the perspective of white dudes when people who chose to be "darkies" or have a vagina were property with zero say in our government.
  32. Mike Pence was using a private email server for government business, including confidential info.
  33. House starts creating bills to remove funding from public schools and switch to vouchers, plus removing equal opportunity to students for education.
  34. Attorney General lied under oath: He was speaking with the Russians after all.
  35. Education secretary claims racism causing racial segregation is a positive example of school choice.
  36. So much for those American jobs. Keystone pipeline won't need to use American steel.
  37. Feeling the heat from his administration breaking the law, he makes up more shit about Obama.
  38. Evidence continues to build and GOP start to turn over Trump being a puppet of Putin.
  39. White House issues another ban on new Muslims coming to America.
  40. Americans want an independent investigation of Russian ties, but GOP refuses.
  41. GOP releases ObamaCare Lite still requires everyone enroll and has bigger penalties if they don't.
  42. Trump claims Obama released 122 reengaged Gitmo prisoners. It was actually George W. Bush.
  43. The reviews on GOP ObamaCare are in and they are ugly.
  44. Russian oligarch to profit from the non-American steel used in pipelines.

Of course, Trump was "winning" as a private citizen, too:

  1. Sexual Assault Allegations (1970-2005)
  2. Beauty Pageant Scandals  (1992-Present)
  3. Racial Housing Discrimination (1973-1975)
  4. Mafia Ties (1970-Present)
  5. Trump University (2005-2010)
  6. Tenant Intimidation (1982-1986)
  7. Four Bankruptcies (1991, 1992, 2004, 2009)
  8. Undocumented Polish Workers (1980)
  9. Alleged Marital Rape (1989)
  10. Breaking Casino Rules (Various)
  11. Antitrust Violations (1986)
  12. Condo Hotel Shenanigans (2008)
  13. Corey Lewandowski (2016)
  14. Suing Journalist Tim O’Brien for Libel (2006-2009)
  15. Refusing to Pay Workers and Contractors (1980-Present)
  16. Trump Institute (2005-Present)
  17. Buying Up His Own Books (2016)
  18. Undocumented Models (1999-?)
  19. The Trump Foundation (1988-Present)
  20. The Cuban Embargo (1998-Present)
  21. Growing Conflict of Interest List (Present)
And now a statement by our Commander and Chief:
“I did try and fuck her. She was married. ... I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look. ... Whoa! Whoa! Yeah, that’s her. With the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.” - Donald Trump, 2005

18 November 2016

Post Election Detox For Liberals and Conservatives

Post 2016 Election Note for Liberals:
Just as David Duke is allowed to do the white-suited Macarena in the streets, you are absolutely entitled to work through your emotions about the election. However, there are a few ground rules:

  • No protesting permitted without an "I Voted" sticker. You are welcome to have thoughts and feelings, but we don't want to see them on TV or blocking our evening commute.
  • Stop burning American flags. There's always one idiot in a mob that cannot help taking the group on the short bus parade, so please keep the matches away from that person.
Everyone needs to hope that Donald Trump will be a successful POTUS since the alternative would be devastating to the world. You might see all evidence pointing to our imminent disaster, but it is up to all of us to try to make the best of this. What would be a disaster is if the Democrats took the reigns of the "Party of No" which would leave Trump to executive order his way to what he wants without any dialogue about the implications. We need to work with the GOP (heaven forbid, Congress working together) to come up with constructive solutions. Yes, the ACA (Obamacare) is going to be changed, but do you want 20 million people to suddenly not have health insurance or do we want to make adjustments for a long-term solution? Yes, Trump might start us building some walls, bridges and roads, but (ignoring the immigration issues) that could truly be a good thing to spark more jobs in our country. Keep in mind that Obama wanted Republicans to help craft the ACA and tried to pass an infrastructure bill but was blocked by the GOP on both counts.

We need to demonstrate to the country how a minority party can work with the other side to get things done. We are going to have to give ground on a number of issues, but our lines in the sand should be reserved for those items that tear at the fabric of our society. Remember that our issue is not whether the ACA is renamed Trumpcare and we have a platinum Trumpwall on our border, but it is to demand respect for all individuals living in our borders and fight for the world we leave to future generations. We need to continue to remind those in power that the choices we make impact every living thing on this planet.

Yes, our needs for the Supreme Court should be heard since the GOP broke the rules by not considering an appointment by Obama. We should do whatever we can to live up to the task of being stewards of the environment. There needs to be affordable healthcare available for all Americans. And, yes, we should fight to exclude any possible KKK wing of the oval office. To accomplish this we must compromise, continue to make our voices heard through protest, and always be willing to call Trump's bluff.

And keep your chin up. Trump will be up for re-election in four years.

Post 2016 Election Note for Conservatives:
You are right to complain about Americans burning flags in the street. You are right to be dismissive of protesters that did not even vote. You are right to be upset with those that hope Trump will fail. We need Trump and, ultimately, America to succeed. However, there are some ground rules in your indignation:

  • Be sensitive to the fact that over one million more people voted for the woman who lost the election. It is healthy for people to openly question how that has occurred twice to their candidates.
  • Everyone is entitled to have their feelings and work through emotions however they need to, provided it does not break the law and does not do harm to others.
We all need to be aware that protests with racist signs and dolls showing Obama being hanged were on display in America in 2008 and 2012. There are poor losers on every side. Speaking of which ... Whatever Democrats do, it is following the GOP's eight years of openly saying they would never assist Obama on anything he wanted to pass. I sincerely hope the minority party does not continue that terrible behavior, but it was (unfortunately) successfully modeled by the GOP.

Now we should chat about these rumors that Trump is a racist, xenophobic womanizer. Everyone is welcome to their own opinion on that subject based on the evidence (Trump's own words), but there is little point arguing since he was already elected. What is very much open to debate is keeping like-minded views out of our United States Government. If you are happy to have "White Power" sweep our government than congrats. But if you do not believe Trump is trying to create a racist America than you need to prove it by being openly against his hires that have demonstrated those beliefs. Case and point:

Jeff Sessions as Attorney General:
Called a black attorney a "boy", prosecuted black civil rights attorneys, claims the only problem with the KKK is they smoke weed, ignores violence against abortion clinics and mocks civil rights groups as un-American. He was dismissed by a bi-partisan Senate Judiciary Committee.

Michael Flynn as Security Advisor:
Sacked by the Pentagon for aggressive behavior, anti-Muslim rhetoric and a habit of tweeting anti-Semitic material. He has strong connections with Russia including Vladimir Putin. Mr. Flynn is in favor of our military using torture (against the law, by the way) for extracting information.

Steve Bannon as Chief Strategist:
Steve created the online news organization, Breitbart News, which is a favorite of the alt-right which includes our favorite upside-down vanilla ice cream cone people. Their news stories reflect their viewership and they unapologetically alter or outright lie to fit whatever narrative their readers want to hear at that moment. Beyond the typical anti-liberal verbiage, the articles are regularly racist, homophobic and anti-Semitic which Steve openly says he does not have the least concern about.

Trump has not taken office yet and it is reasonable to see a disturbing picture being painted. We want Trump to succeed and we want him to leave a better America than he inherited, but the tide of prosperity needs to move up for all Americans, not just the rich ones with pale skin and a penis. Help us make certain that happens.