22 November 2016

"Please Mr. president, It's too much winning! We can't take it anymore!"

When you elect a fascist as President of the United States of America, you can expect a wee bit of chaos along the way to making America great again. So, as a service to the man in the White House, we are tracking all of that "winning" for you:
  1. Calling civil rights leader lazy on MLK Jr. holiday
  2. Hiring son in his administration
  3. Report of him hiring girls for water sports
  4. Trump's business conflicts of interest
  5. Hiring of unqualified Ben Carson to head HUD
  6. Hiring of individual who is against the EPA to lead it
  7. Hiring of Exxon chief as Secretary of State
  8. Trump refusing to acknowledge that Russia interfered with election
  9. Trump agreed to drop Ukraine opposition for Russia releasing Democrat emails.
  10. Upsetting China by skipping diplomatic channels and directly working with Taiwan.
  11. Secretary of Health and Human Services invests in companies based on legislation he influences.
  12. Lying about the attendance size of his inauguration.
  13. Claiming that millions voted illegally with no proof.
    1. Then forces an investigation to try to support the lie.
  14. Destroying relationship with Mexico and, no, they won't pay for the wall.
  15. Entire State Department Senior Management team abruptly resigns.
  16. Asks for the CIA to start using black sites for torturing detainees.
  17. America degraded to "Flawed Democracy" by Economist Intelligence Unit.
  18. Doomsday Clock moves 30 seconds closer to midnight - "End of Humanity".
  19. Forcing pipeline to be constructed over scared native land while pipelines are leaking.
  20. Trump creates a shadow National Security Council.
  21. Bans immigration from 7 countries responsible for 0 American fatalities on U.S. soil.
  22. White House fires acting Attorney General because she found a Trump executive order, that was not run by the Justice Department as has been standard procedure with previous Presidents in both parties, to be indefensible and likely illegal.
  23. FUBAR military raid resulted in American deaths, including 8 year old American girl.
  24. Anything negative about Trump is fake news.
  25. Trump does not know the difference between refugees and illegal immigrants.
  26. National Security Adviser resigns after discovery that he broke the law and lied about it.
  27. FBI has evidence that Trump campaign was coordinating with Russia during elections.
  28. After 25 days in office the White House has three resignations due to collusion with Russia.
  29. White House ramps up a (unfortunately, successful) Nazi tactic of "lying press".
  30. Donald Trump breaks the Emoluments Clause of the U.S. Constitution.
  31. Supreme Court pick believes laws must be held to the perspective of white dudes when people who chose to be "darkies" or have a vagina were property with zero say in our government.
  32. Mike Pence was using a private email server for government business, including confidential info.
  33. House starts creating bills to remove funding from public schools and switch to vouchers, plus removing equal opportunity to students for education.
  34. Attorney General lied under oath: He was speaking with the Russians after all.
  35. Education secretary claims racism causing racial segregation is a positive example of school choice.
  36. So much for those American jobs. Keystone pipeline won't need to use American steel.
  37. Feeling the heat from his administration breaking the law, he makes up more shit about Obama.
  38. Evidence continues to build and GOP start to turn over Trump being a puppet of Putin.
  39. White House issues another ban on new Muslims coming to America.
  40. Americans want an independent investigation of Russian ties, but GOP refuses.
  41. GOP releases ObamaCare Lite still requires everyone enroll and has bigger penalties if they don't.
  42. Trump claims Obama released 122 reengaged Gitmo prisoners. It was actually George W. Bush.
  43. The reviews on GOP ObamaCare are in and they are ugly.
  44. Russian oligarch to profit from the non-American steel used in pipelines.

Of course, Trump was "winning" as a private citizen, too:

  1. Sexual Assault Allegations (1970-2005)
  2. Beauty Pageant Scandals  (1992-Present)
  3. Racial Housing Discrimination (1973-1975)
  4. Mafia Ties (1970-Present)
  5. Trump University (2005-2010)
  6. Tenant Intimidation (1982-1986)
  7. Four Bankruptcies (1991, 1992, 2004, 2009)
  8. Undocumented Polish Workers (1980)
  9. Alleged Marital Rape (1989)
  10. Breaking Casino Rules (Various)
  11. Antitrust Violations (1986)
  12. Condo Hotel Shenanigans (2008)
  13. Corey Lewandowski (2016)
  14. Suing Journalist Tim O’Brien for Libel (2006-2009)
  15. Refusing to Pay Workers and Contractors (1980-Present)
  16. Trump Institute (2005-Present)
  17. Buying Up His Own Books (2016)
  18. Undocumented Models (1999-?)
  19. The Trump Foundation (1988-Present)
  20. The Cuban Embargo (1998-Present)
  21. Growing Conflict of Interest List (Present)
And now a statement by our Commander and Chief:
“I did try and fuck her. She was married. ... I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look. ... Whoa! Whoa! Yeah, that’s her. With the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.” - Donald Trump, 2005