we got exactly what we wanted. 20 november, 2000 by johnmichael patrick monty monteith

Make all the jokes you want, but the people of Palm Beach, Florida are some of the smartest people on Earth. They were trying to punch the 'none of the above' spot, and it looks like they found it.

We are now at two weeks since the election, and still have no idea who is going to be the next President of the United States of America. Whew. So far, so good.

Smart money is on George W., but who knows. If it is Al, would any of us be surprised at this point? Doubtful. However, the biggest surprise in this election is that no matter how amazing the chaos in Florida has been, it pales in comparison to the astounding ability of American's to get exactly what the want. And that is exactly what we got.

If you turn on the telly in America you cannot help but hear a variety of opinions on the silliness happening in the furthest state from us in Seattle, Washington. Some will tell you that this entire process has been a testament to the strength of American democracy. I do not really buy into that opinion, but am willing to entertain the idea.

There are those that are under the belief that the entire process will somehow prove to the rest of the world how strong our political system is. Lets face it, the rest of the world has already made up their opinion of America, and all this will do is reinforce whatever that might be.

Then there are those that go on and on about how this shows just how important one vote is. Of course, they are ignoring the twenty thousand votes in the State of Florida that were completely thrown out that would have decided the election twenty times over. How important were those votes?

And, yes, we have some shouting that unless we get a winner soon, the country will become a disaster. Take this one and reverse it, and there lies the answer.

The truth is that American's are not particularly enamored by either of these possible figureheads. Al Gore is about as exciting as a dead lamp post, so it is hard to get enthusiastic about him being our President. George is certainly more exciting, but we are all very concerned that he does not have the slightest idea who Jean Chrétien is. (I wish I could say this is a joke.) So, American's, being the sort we are, decided to put these candidates in their place. We decided to have an election so close as to give whomever will become President a lame-duck four years in office.

What makes this situation even more enjoyable is how George and Al have behaved these past couple of weeks. Fortunately, for those of us voting 'none of the above', they are beginning to lose the support of their own parties. Yes, this is the first Presidential Election where the winner will officially be crowned the loser. For either of them to keep their job for four years, let alone eight, would be a miracle.

If Bush-Boy becomes our next Prezzy, he will do so on a mere handful of votes (literally). He will secure his job after opposing any method that might actually determine who won the election. Trying to stop, in court, hand re-counts of the votes for fear they might take away his prize, even though he personally signed into law a bill in Texas that requires hand counts. Furthermore, two Republican counties in Florida completed hand recounts and benefited the Texas Gov's case by giving him an extra hundred votes. Funny, he did not seem to object to that at all, did he? Then we add to the equation that he will become only the second President in our history to take office when his rival actually received more overall votes from coast to coast. The last President that took office this way agreed to only serve four years due to this questionable situation. We all know that George W. is not nearly the gentleman.

Then there is Mr. Boring himself. If he manages to get the office it will be because he used attorneys and public opinion to steal it away from the Texas Moron. Whether the Democrats would like to admit it or not, the popular vote is meaningless, even when used to justify wasting all of our time in hand recounts. If the recounts do come up in Al's favor, do not expect Americans to suddenly embrace his claim to office. Even with public opinion slightly in Al's favor, if he appeared the front-runner, we are likely to root for the idiot.

The truth is, of course, that we really want neither of these candidates, and in many ways that is exactly what we are going to get. Lets face it, if we had the option we would choose to have Clinton remain in office for another year and vote again next November for two entirely new candidates. But, knowing this will never happen, we have chosen to render the position useless by making the victor the loser. I may be cynical, but I truly believe this is what the country wanted, and in fact is the best move possible given the choices available. I just find it amazing that we pulled it off. Only three words can describe how I feel about all of this:

God Bless America.