dude, i can't stand dell commercials 17 august, 2002 by johnmichael patrick monty monteith

Dell has proved, without question, that I know very little about computer marketing. At the same time that Dell is gaining market-share, and general consumer mind-share, we dropped them as our primary supplier of desktop and laptop computers. Why would we be dropping Dell when everyone else is picking them up? Because the same commercials that make most people buy makes me run away.

I suspect I am not alone on this. Am I really the only person in America that sees the Dell Dude on the television and immediately grabs the clicker? Perhaps.

As you are probably aware, in the real world, the actor behind the annoying commercials is not actually the teenage dweeb he portrays. I suspect that the ‘part’ he plays in the commercials will be very difficult for him to shake if he decides to do stage or film work. Still, he supposedly is a fine actor that managed to find his fifteen minutes of fame. If he happens to get a film role playing the same character that he does in the Dell commercials, he may yet have far more than fifteen minutes. After all, the character he plays in the commercials is not entirely unlike the role a particular actor played in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. (But, I was not a fan of those dorks, either.)

While I respect that this actor has done a fine job of making himself a household name, I still cannot stand the commercials. As someone that makes purchasing decisions for a medium sized company, all these silly commercials have done is convinced me that Dell is no longer selling to professionally run organizations.

Due to these commericals and remarkably poor customer service (and the worst phone system I have ever used), we moved our desktop purchases to a competitor. This is at the same time the nation started buying Dells like they were Cabbage Patch dolls ten years ago. And this is why Dell has not offered me a job in their marketing department. Due directly to this recent ad campaign, Dell has managed to continue their increase in market share at a time when the industry is dieing. How? By taking away sales from HP/Compaq, and Gateway.

This is not the first time I have proven to know very little about high tech marketing. It was not very long ago when Apple released the Mac Cube, which I genuinely thought was about the coolest looking computer ever. Yes, I understood that it was not technically the most amazing machine made, but I felt that the shear coolness of the machine would overcome that. As you probably know, the Cube was discontinued not long after it was released due to lack of sales. (Probably even more telling was the fact that, even though I thought it was cool, I never actually bought one.)

I simply do not understand why people purchase computers based on some actor saying “Dude, you’re getting a Dell”, yet will not purchase a computer that is a great piece of hardware. I suppose this, in many ways, is the struggle that Apple Computer and Linux desktops must face. People who purchase computers for their home simply do not care if their computer is fundamentally better. All they seem to care about is that they are buying what everyone else is buying, and right now, that means buying a Dell.

For Apple and companies trying to build Linux desktops, this fight may be more than can be overcome. How can you fight the American marketing machine? How will you convince people that it is somehow okay to not buy what everyone else is buying? Or, in the case of Linux, it is okay to use software that you do not even have to buy?

How will the masses be convinced? It is hard to say. I certainly do not have the answer. Although, I do have one suggestion: When hiring the head of your marketing department, you should put my name at the bottom of the list.