the year 2000
21 of july, 1998
by johnmichael patrick monty monteith
There are hundreds, possibly thousands, of predictions about the world ending in the year 2000. Some have predicted global floods. Some are big on the death by major earthquakes perspective. And others are just downright giddy about a year 2000 nuclear war. Some of these wonderfully accurate predictions of our future started with prophets that died hundreds of years ago. Others from our favorite prophet living a couple blocks down the road. But the vast majority of these predictions are coming from our very own press. I do not know about you, but daily I hear predictions of the end of civilization because of the "Y2K" problem. I have heard everything from bank accounts being cleared, home computers erasing hard drives, power plants blowing up, and even talk about military missiles firing because of computers that are not ready for the dreaded year. These stories are from would-be serious newscasters, too. In fact, at my place of employment, rarely a day goes by that someone does not mention "Y2K" to me. Well, I sure do not believe the 16th century Nostradamus could even predict the weather, let alone the future, but his predictions are far more likely to come true than these doomsday by computer stories.
I want to start by addressing the very term "Y2K" being used by the press. I am sure you have heard it. This term is supposed to stand for "year 2000". However, in computer terms, what does one "K" mean? One kilobyte. How much is a kilobyte? Exactly 1024. That's right. One thousand and twenty four. That means that the term "Y2K" really means the year 2048, not the year 2000 as many believe. Are you aware of any major computer issues facing us in the year 2048? If these supposed computer geniuses are so brilliant, why do they keep referring to the year 2048? Probably because most of these people do not know a bit from a byte (in non-computer lingo: they're morons.) And the ones that do know what "Y2K" really means are obviously just trying to rip you off.
The reason this whole thing is getting so much press is because there are so many people trying to make a quick buck off of this supposed "bug" (which, technically, it also is not a bug, but I will not even start on that one). I get at least one piece of mail a day from some supposed consultant offering to save our computers by fixing our systems from the "Y2K bug". (By the way Mr. Consultant, as soon as I see 'Y2K' I have this nasty habit of throwing your mailing away.) How are these consultants staying in business? They talk to the press, telling them about how terrible this problem is going to be. The press, not being completely computer-savvy themselves, then report what is mostly a bunch of hype to the general public. Then Joe Boss sees the story on the news about how the whole world is going to blow up on January 1, 2000 and forces information system managers across the country to hire these ridiculous consultants.
What really is going to happen when the year 2000 arrives? Why wait? Set your computer's clock and find out for yourself. Watch your hard drive format itself, and the walls of your house burn down. Your favorite pet will commit suicide, and a toxic gas will be released into our atmosphere killing half of the population. All because your system switched to the year 2000. This whole "Y2K" story is the biggest thing since the "Good Times" virus. Except, this time, the whole world is falling for it.
Okay, sure, I am exaggerating things slightly. Perhaps I am even underplaying the seriousness of the issue a little bit. Problems on computers regarding the year 2000 are not entirely a laughing matter. For businesses that rely on date stamping of data, the issue requires immediate attention. This is especially true for banks and any computer storing financial information. However if companies did nothing about the year 2000, the vast majority of businesses would find this, at most, to be a major annoyance. When the year 2000 arrives, are hard drives going to be erased? Highly unlikely. Are your bank accounts going to be ruined? Most banks corrected year 2000 issues a while ago. Are nuclear missiles going to start firing? Not unless our government had a planned date that missiles would be launched, which does not seem plausible.
Joking aside, if a computer can not handle the year 2000 the only thing that happens is that it gets the date wrong. That simple. Any program that is run on that computer and accesses the date will get the wrong answer. Probably a date in the 80's, or possibly the computer will believe it is really the year 1900. Sure, if you are running a program that erases hard drives during the year 1900, this might be a problem. How many of us own such a program? None of us.
What is far more likely is that people who do not heed the "Y2K" hype will be annoyed when they enter a check into Quicken and find the wrong date entered. Or perhaps they will be running a calendar program that believes it is the wrong year. Worst case scenario is that you are a business that requires accurate dating on everything you do, like a bank for example. Of course, if you are a bank and have not addressed this issue yet, you probably should not be in business anyway.
The year 2000 experience for Joe Home Computer Owner will range from no effect to minor annoyance. But anyone can get a glimpse of what your experience will be by simply changing the date on your computer and taking a look. When you are thoroughly convinced the world did not end, switch the date back, and tell a friend.
If you work with programs that require accurate date stamping, like financial data, spreadsheets, or databases, you can find good year 2000 solutions out there that will not rip you off. If you are at all concerned about what could happen to your computer during the year 2000, and do not have the nerve to simply switch the date on your computer and find out, check out this web site:
You will find a year 2000 program that will accurately assess your system and let you know exactly what will happen to your system when the dreaded date arrives. It will even correct a lot of known issues. And, hey, what is ten bucks for a little peace of mind?
If you are a gambling person, you could also just sit on the issue and wait to see what will happen. And, I am willing to bet a few bucks that your house does not burn down because you ignored the hype.
